A: Gaby, does it make you jealous I have
these framed photos of Igor on my desk? G: No, because Igor gave you those. A: Yes, a birthday gift!
I: Pretty good- it’s a thoughtful gift from a friend.
G: Here’s the thing: when you give someone a frame, you’re like, “Here, here’s the
frame, you can put whatever you want in it. But when you give someone a frame for
their birthday and it’s just pictures of you guys-
A: That’s way more meaningful, because if he just gave me a frame-
I: An empty frame- A: -I’d go,”Fuck, I gotta fill this.”
I: That’s work, that’s giving someone work. I’ve given her a completed token of our
friendship. Or two. (Funky Music) A: This week we have a- (pause)
A&I: International question, international question! International question!
G: It’s so loud. It’s so loud. A: Charlie, UK. Normally I tell them-
normally I tell Gaby, Igor’s new, what the question is ahead of time, but today we’re
doing something a little different. I: Yeah, we don’t know what’s going on.
This is a sur- Allison was really excited. She was like, “I’m not gonna tell you
anything about this question. It’s a mystery.”
G: Yeah, we don’t know what the question is. A: It’s a mystery question.
G: Okay. A: Because I think what’s more interesting
than answering the question, is you guys trying to figure out what the question
means. A: Ready?
G: Okay. A: Pfft, it’s so stupid.
G: What? I’m so curious. I: I know.
G: What philosophical worlds we will encounter right now.
I: It’s probably- that’s what it is, a deep philosophical question.
G: I think so, yeah. A: Okay. Charlie from the UK wants to know
“Have you ever been funky at the wrong time?” I: There are a couple meanings to that.
A: What does that mean? I: I mean, right away, I leap to, “Have
you smelled not-good when you should’ve been smelling good?”
A&G: Ohhhh. A: So your main definition of funky is
scent. My first reaction was just like, inappropriate. Like, cause you were, like,
too wild. I: Funky.
G: I thought it meant- A: Like maybe you, like, fucked someone
at work. I&G: Ohhh.
I: Now that’s- I&G: Funky!
G: I thought,like, that you were, like, too, like, confident or something. That
you were, like, hubris. Like you did something too confident and it backfired
on you. I: You would, you would.
A: Oh, but does funky ever mean that? G: I picture a guy with, like, big shoes
and, like, purple, like, 70’s outfit and he’s, like, walking down the street really
confident. I: Lots of texture.
G: Yeah. A: I guess in my interpretation-
I: Funky, man. A: -of that, that you could never be too
funky. Let’s decide on an interpretation of it.
G: No, you answer it however you interpret it.
A: Okay, so when was a time you smelled? I: This is so gross, but you wanted a male
perspective, and this is gonna be a very male perspective. There are some guys,
it’s a 50-50 split, on whether the t- A: Is this about you being uncircumcised?
I: The tips of their penises- It’s very common, if you’re from Eastern
Europe, to be, as we call it, uncut, because that is just a- that’s how it is.
G: Have you spent a lot of time defending this to people? Who cares?
A: In his mind. G: Who cares, Igor?
I: Well- G: Does anyone ever literally care?
A: The thing that is, most- I: Uh, well, yeah, I mean, this is- After
hearing a half-dozen times growing up, “Well, that’s exotic.” I mean, you do, you
get an answer to it. G: What? Women said that to you?
A: Of course! I: Yes! Multiple! Exotic!
A: This is America. G: A lot of non-white men are not
circumcised, either. So, like- I: That’s true. A lot of my Latino
friends. It’s true! No, but it’s true. G: I’m just laughing at your use of the
accent to say Latino. I: Well, we have to. We have to. Well, but
it’s so very important- A: And this is just a time that your penis
smelled bad? I: No, it’s very important if- and I am
educating, also here- G: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I: If you are uncircumcised, you need to be extra great about cleaning because
you’ve got an extra hood there, you’ve got a hoodie, and- so there are some times-
there have been some times before a hookup, like, when I didn’t know that the
hookup was gonna happen- G: Ohh.
I: -and now it’s a surprise hookup, and I’ve found myself, in order to not be
funky- A: I think that, honestly, this is the
perfect explanation of “When have you been funky at the wrong time?” That you haven’t
cleaned your uncircumcised penis before a surprise hookup.
G: I would argue that it’s, like, it’s not that crazy because, like, if- let’s say
you have small boobs, you don’t probably have to scrub under the boob as much-
I: Oh my god! G: -as, like, a girl with big boobs-
A: You have to scrub under your boob? G: I gotta lift the boob, wash under it,
put the boob back down, yeah. A: Whoa!
I: I never knew this! G: Yeah, sure.
A: Are we now a hygiene channel? I: You wouldn’t mind that.
G: Oh my god, it’s what you’ve always wanted!
I: Then I have, and this is more than once, and I don’t know if you’re still
gonna let me into your bathroom after this, but I will stand and dip my penis into the
sink, and give it a little- a rinse. A&G: Ohh.
G: Smart. A: But you’re so short.
I: I am shorter than the average man- G: And his penis is 9 feet long! He dips
it gently in the sink. What is to not understand?
A: I have a very important question. G: Sure.
A: Only one of my armpits smells. Am I dying? (Funky music) G: Conclusion: Wash your dick, wash under
your boobs, and wash your one smelly armpit. Thank you for watching! Subtitles by the Amara.org community